Oh, take me back to the start.

Nobody said it was easy.

Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be so hard.

I'll never find words that express my state of mind more clearly.

Thanks, Chris Martin.

I miss you all so much. What wouldn't I give to be back with you? 

There are so many good memories I want to relive.

Please, take me back to the start.

CLP 2009

This summer I gained a new family. We spent every waking moment together, from learning life guarding and first aid to realizing what it takes to be a great great counselor at Camp Olympia. We spent endless hours in the pool, chasing kids, and building beautiful, deep, and lasting friendships with one another. Oh, and we climbed mountains in Colorado. I've never had a more amazing three weeks in my life. It's true that I've said that about camp every summer since I was a mere 7-year-old, but this time it's true. Those three weeks changed me as a person. 

The hardest, most difficult and seemingly impossible challenges in our lives are the times that make us who we are. That's when one's true colors are revealed. What do you want people to see?

Tainted Beauty.

California's okay. However, I miss my life. 

When I'm upset, I normally turn to my ipod for comfort. Sadly, every song seems to have memories mixed in that cause me pain to relive. They are good recollections, but I want so badly to return to them that it hurts. Time for some new music. Suggetions are most welcome!

Powerless

That's what I am. I have no control over anything, nor do I have any idea of what to expect in the coming weeks. I hate doubt, gray areas, and uncertianty more than anything. They terrify me and surround me constantly. I can't believe I've reached my last week of living in Kingwood. Camp will be a brief and hopefully blissful escape, but when it ends there's no returning home. I'm sick with unhappiness.

I want out of this, immediately.

I had to say a permanent goodbye to two good friends tonight. Not permanent of course, but it's going to be quite a long time before I see them again. It's the beginning of the countless goodbyes I'll have to endure, and I dread them all. Victoria, one of the most inspiring people I've ever met, tried to remind me of how much I'm gaining. She may be right, but all I feel for the moment is loss. This hurts. The worst part is the stress, the constant reminders of the millions of things I should be doing to prepare for my sister's wedding, camp, and the dreaded move. I feel like such an awful sister. A week from today Katie will be married, yet I spend every day away from home trying to absorb every last hour I have in Kingwood. There's just too much stress at home, too much of that draining and powerless feeling. I hate everything about this.

California Waiting

I really wish you would stop asking me questions that you already know the anwser to. It confuses me and makes this more difficult, and I can't figure out why you're doing it.

I'd tell you the news but nothing's changed.

I'd sing you a song but they blew it away,

All wrapped up in this stupid ass game.

Hey, California waiting. 

Every little thing's gotta be just right.