Psalms 63:1

O God, thou art my God, I seek thee,

my soul thirsts for thee;

my flesh faints for thee,

as in a dry and weary land where no water is.

psalms 63:1

I'm terrible at following God. It's not that I doubt him. Nor is it that I don't feel connected to him, because I do. I'm just losing trust in His judgment. I think this leads to my discouragement, and my revelation that I'm simply not living my life by His word- not in the least bit. It just occured to me the other day that I have not even read the bible. Perhaps there's a few explanations in there that will make all of this make sense.

I'm reading another incredible book. The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs, is about Jacobs' quest to follow the Bible as literally possible for an entire year. It's enlightening and hilarious. I never realized how many strange rules can be found in the Bible. Here's an example of Jacobs' incredibly witty writing skills:

"...consider this passage: 'you are not to boil a young goat in the milk of its mother' (Exodus 23:19, NASB). If you take this literally, as I'm trying to do, this is relatively easy. I think - with a little willpower and a safe distance from farms - I can make it for a year without boiling a baby goat in its mother's milk. My Friend John suggested that, worse comes to worse, I could boil the baby goat in its aunt's milk. Thanks, John."

Of course, one man's quest to follow all of God's laws for a year is only tripping me up in my own endeavors- I covet his writing ability. Seriously though, all these rules put me in a daze. And why is it that we as Christians pick and choose which rules to follow? I don't wake up at midnight every night to glorify God, and I'm sure I have clothes made of mixed fibers. I've always been told to follow the Ten Commandments, but it's never been required of me to tie my money to my hand.

Overall, Jacobs' book is just what I needed. This time around, as I attempt the Bible, I want to face it inquisitively and search for answers.

Dear Sister

Okay Katie, despite that one time that you handed me a piece of paint and told me it was a chewy SweeTart, I've always looked up to you as an excellent role model, sister, and friend. I could tell at the start of your freshman year at Baylor that not living in the same house was going to be a huge help for us getting along, and it has been. I feel so blessed to know you, to have always known you, and to watch your beautiful, bright future expand and grow. 

Though I can't imagine ever being in a bad mood while at Baylor, I'm guessing you've had some off days, what with all the changes going on. I'm sure graduating is scary and sad, but hopefully it's terribly exciting as well. That's one major life change, and I know you're dealing with several more. The rest of the fam's peacing out to California, oh- and you're getting married. Basically all this stuffs happening in one swift motion, and I admire how you're handling it- much better than I ever could! You have always been a good example to me and this situation is no different; your strength amazes me.

I'm so sorry that all the moving craziness can occasionally make wedding planning more difficult. I just want you to know it's one of the only things we talk (and pray) about. I'm so excited to be in your wedding- words can't even describe. If there's ever any wedding-related stuff I can do for you, please ask me- I'd love to help out more. So far I've only had one maid-of-honor task, but I'm looking forward to many more!

Just know that I can partially understand the stress you're going through- at least the moving part- and I'm always here for you.

Hope you had an awesome day,

Emil

There Are Cool Things About Moving, Part 1

1) Looking at cute houses, even if they're slightly over budget...

2) Getting inspired for how I would decorate my new (and most likley tiny) bedroom

from here

hopefully there'll be other upsides!

I'm Having The Most Unproductive Day Ever

http://www.polodroid.net/

But I had fun with the most fantastic website known to mankind!

I have no idea how to move and meet new people. I know there's no way they can be as cool as the ones I already know. Sure, there are upsides. San Jose is very close to San Francisco, one of my favorite cities. Plus I'd finally get to paint and decorate my room the way I want it! Then there's the fact that most California schools have open campuses, with all the classrooms opening up to the beautiful, humid-less weather! However, these thoughts always fade and are replaced with worry and sadness. I just don't know how to stay excited.

Jesus is messing everything up!

I am reading a truly fantastic book right now. It's Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.

Shane's a follower of Jesus who has some amazing stories and some real concerns about Christianity and the Church. Says one of his close friends,

"I stopped being a christian in order to follow Jesus"

I consider myself a Christian, but I defientaly understand where Shane's friend was comming from when he made the statement. Christianity has gotten really messed up! For many Christians around the world, Chruch means nothing more than a pretty sanctuary on Sundays, where you can hear a nice sermon that makes you feel good, then leave and go back to doing whatever it is that you want to do. (I'm not excluding myself from this problem, nor do I think it applies to as many people as it used to..not with this Irrestible Revolution in our midst) We love the idea of Jesus and Christianity, but not when it ruins our comfortable lifestyle. Said the philosopher Soren Kierkegaard,

"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly."

So here's where I am struggling. I believe that we should all live a life thats spent glorifying God and doing His work. But what does that mean for me? Can I not go to a nice college, attend law school or become an editor or author or wherever I'm lead, and still follow God? What if I want to live in a comfortable home, have nice things for my family? I know the story where Jesus tells a rich man that he must give all that he owns to the poor in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. But money and possessions WAS that's man's god. It's not my god, and I'm not very materialistic. So am I still a good Christian if I want to be sucessful in buisness? Not for the sake of being powerful and rich but accomplished and loved? Does every true Christian need to go live in a third world country in order to do gods work?

I don't think so. I think his work can be done anywhere, and needs to be done everywhere.

Good Day

Nice Friday Night

Movie Tavern :D

Crappy food, cute movie (Yes Man)

Loud ride home

"All the single ladies"

photography

with lots of sprinkles

First Post

At the suggestion of my sister Katie, I've finally gotten around to starting a blog! This is a new and incredibly different challenge for me. Writing is a passion I've always had, and it's only competitor is my love of literature. But writing in a forum where others might possibly stumble upon my random thoughts leaves me feeling a bit vulnerable. I've always liked keeping journals. Some of them are for my thoughts, some for poetry and some are for fictional writing. As much as I enjoy writing down all sorts of things...I've never loved sharing it. I hardly like looking back at my work, because the second I do I see it through the eyes of another and have to judge its quality and  search for cliches. Though it's likely that no one will bother to read my blogs, (and who would blame them?) the fact that someone might freaks me out a little. 

I guess that's not a bad thing.